Personal Growth - Sharon

God is ever-knowing!!! Never doubt that! Never ever doubt that! He knows me all along, when I was half-heartedly serving him and stubbornly finding my own paths after praying and asking from Him! He sees me, but He has His own time, so I thought He has pushed me aside, and that I had successfully passed beneath His radar.

His timing is NEVER my timing, but that still doesn't imply that His timing isn't the BEST timing! His timing brought me into CCC, His timing brought me into I-Connect. I was praying before entering university for a chance to serve. I saw my church's fellowship, I strive hard for it, I really put in effort, but it seems like God doesn't wan to use me there at all, I didn't get the slightest chance to serve!

He pushed me into CCC. People make calls for me, I put in no effort, but they prepared everything for me. From equipping me, to sending me to people. I was not ready but He let me do His wills. There were plenty for me to do here. I never realise. Obviously.

This mission trip is not on my MY-Favourites-List, it is more of a responsibility. At least join some kind of activity, you are a Christian you know. That's where God sent me from.

It was a life-changing experience, I never expected that. I felt that i was let into a glimpse of God's BIG PLAN for me. I don't know much of much, but I will do it if He wants me to.

I see myself changing, Thank the Lord! I am scared that I will be the same forever, sometimes closed to Him and most of the time keep my distance.

Yet God is gracious, and gentle by letting me know that I need not fret. He is in control. I was on the plane home when I felt the urge to share the gospel with the passenger sitting next to me. I was really really reluctant though. Speaking to strangers in everyday setting is still a major barrier for me, especially when it has to do with something serious a.k.a. sharing the gospel.

I still have my doubts when the plane started to shake harder than i had ever experienced. It shook a great three quarters of the 1 hour and 15 minutes ride. And I haven't started sharing the gospel. I was still fidgeting with my opening speech. And I caught myself praying to God that He save this man if he haven't gotten the chance to know Jesus, since it's all my fault now.

The plane stopped shaking after that and I immediately started to talk to him. I later found out that he's a christian and so it was a false alarm after all but it really got me thinking. Normally I would pray for God to save me in this kind of situation but at that moment, I realise that there's no point of me being safe when i already know where I would eventually go but the person sitting beside me doesn't.

God really wants to change me. And know what? There's nothing I can do about it.

SHARON